just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
