omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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