The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
