Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I skipped work to stalk him.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
