i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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