drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
