She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Mom said you looked used
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
