that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
