My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
