i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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