You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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