id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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