so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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