new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
