who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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