Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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