Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
