i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
