this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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