I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
