Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
