I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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