Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
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