dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize