So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
