Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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