Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She's JV to your varsity
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
