just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
