You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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