when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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