i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
