is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
