She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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