C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize