So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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