Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
A+ Viking dick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
