I will die if light touches me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
