I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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