can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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