I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
accomplished twins. life is a go
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
