wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
