I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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