thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
how do flat chested girls get laid?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
