I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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