Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize