he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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