Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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