im drinking this country out of the recession.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
