This beer is not sobering me up at all
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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