you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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