WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
