also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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