Dual....:-)
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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