I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
