I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
